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the only daughter. My nursemaid was thinking many things but was not able to ascertain any solution [to our plight]. Everyone in the house [i.e. the servants] was considering whether this boy [me] would live. The said to her, "One after another so many of the other children who were like Karttika [strong and handsome] have died, so what hope can there be for this ugly boy [me] to continue to live? Therefore, if you say that your wealth is in this boy you will not survive." Hearing these talks, my mother sold me for 9 cowrie and my sister Hemlata for 5 cowrie to Dhatri Mata. After a few months my mother heard that my aunt Mej undertook a marriage for my cousin Mahesh Dada.

92. Then she thought, "A marriage for my son will bring a better future." Having said this, marriage negotiations began. Some negotiations were [already?] underway. [Mahesh] Dada spoke to my grandfather [along with?] Krishnamati, the brahmani daughter of Krishna Mukhopadhyaya who always came to our house. At this time Jagat Bhattacharya Mahasaya would assist our family in many ways. He shopped for us. On ekadasi days the brahmana would prepare a special vegetarian meal for us.

93. Mother sent Krishnamati to Ranaghat to see the girl [in question]. The girl's name was Sayamani and she was the five year old daughter of the first wife of Sriyukta Madhusudana Mitra. She was the granddaughter of Simhadiga of Khismar. Mitra Mahasay was very capable. He was the financial officer of the Palacothur family and he came to see me riding on a elephant and then left. After seeing the girl, Krishnamati came and spoke to mother saying, "Oh, your future daughter law is so beautiful. Even though she is a little dark in colour I do not see a better beauty." It was the opinion of Krishnamati that there was nothing in this girl that a man would find objectionable. Having expressed this opinion to mother she would not consider any other girls. Lala Gopala said that the colour of this girl was [dark] like a hookah. Mother said, "Her forehead is auspicious, that is her beauty, what does [a dark] colour matter?"

The marriage was decided. Dasu Mama acted as the head of the family. Nanda Kumar began to make the jewellery. Stealing a large ammount of gold from mother, he made different kinds of ornaments [for the girl] enough to cover her entire body. Dasu Mama gave the approval for everything. The expence was great.

94. There was a pleasure boat, a wedding palanquin, decorations, lights, English music etc. The marriage was between a twelve year old boy and a five year old girl and was exactly like a child's doll marriage. Drinking Ganges water and milk I arrived at the house of my father in law with a great, pompous crowd. The reception was very big. Many gentlemen of the Teli [oil] caste dressed in bright and varied clothes and wearing jari outfits came to the reception. Even though I was of such a tender age, I was able to understand that except for the Kayasthas and the Brahmanas [who were dressed nicely] the good\clothes and ornaments did not look well on the others. I heard that the children of the Panti family came. Hearing the name Panti my panti doll comes to mind. Even though they were not exactly like my doll, my eyes did not see the beauty of the panti children. Two reciters of genealogies read out the family histories of the Mitra and Datta families.

95. Gradually the marriage was completed. I said that I was not able to stay alone in the house of my father in law, so my nanny came and stayed with me. After one night everybody in the house considered me just like a son. The following day the bride and bridegroom came to Ula. Everybody at the home declared that the marriage was like a nice doll wedding. Sometime after the wedding, news of grandfather's sickness and death gradually reached Ula. Mother went to Bhavanipur with the child bride to see her stepmother.

96. Thereafter we came to Calcutta by boat. In those days Calcutta was a fearful place. Immediately upon arriving my nose was struck by a severe, foul smell. This smell took away my appetite. After residing in Bhavanipur for a few days we visited many places in Calcutta and Bhavanipur. We saw Kalighat. Being exceedingly disgusted I was not able to appreciate anything. When we returned to Ula I was the first to leave. Upon arriving in Ula, Mahesh Dada [whom I considered an older brother], Meja Mami and her brother, Raja Babu, performed Sraddha for my grandfather.

97. After staying a few days, Mahesh Dada returned to Calcutta. As before, I remained in Ula. My reciting and hearing [of my lessons] was poor. I worried a lot. According to the command of the older brother [Mahesh Dada] I had performed the cow puja on the Bhodga Hill and the [appropriate] Deity worship, taking the money from the sale of coconuts fromn the estate and from what ever little money was sent [to us]. The worship was not good. I was never qualified to look after the affairs of the

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