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At that time I had a desire to see other countries. I went to Burdwan with Banesvara Vidyalankar and a few other pandits. There I stayed happily for a few days in the hospitality of the Maharaj Mahatap Chandra. In those days Burdwan was an excellent place. Respectable people who became ill in Calcuttaw went there to regain their health.

150. This was the time of Dola Yatra. I went to see the court of the king and I gave a complimantary copy of my Poriyed to the king and he read some of it and liked it. Returning from Burdwan I saw that my maternal grandmother was bedridden in the house of Kali Kaka with Grihinipira [?]. I was thinking many things, [such as] "I will study, I will make money, I will print books, I will lecture in many places. I will get somewhere where mother and grandmother and my wife can all live together." But there was no money. No help. Everyone was a calculating outsider. No one made even a little effort to help.

151. My Maternal Grandmother was very ill. Kali Kaka made a special effort [to help her]. Kaka Bholanatha Babu sometimes made efforts to help. At this time many small things [happened]. Oneday a friend of mine, Biresvar Basu, suggested to me, " Let's go on a tour to Chuchara, Hugli and other places. Thereafter, Mahendra Mitra, Biresvara, Nabagopal and myself I by rail to Pharasadanga and Hugli. My expenses were shared by them and we returned after three days. Their association was not very good. Upon returning I was put to shame. I was thinking to enjoy going on an excursion, but what was the condition of my grandmother? that I did not know. Upon returning to the house of Kali Kaka in the afternoon, I saw mother and Mej Didi calling me in the doorway. They said, "You immediately go to the ghat on the Ganga. Your Kali Kaka took your grandmother there."

I had only one piece of cloth on but I went swiftly to Nimatal Ghat. There I saw my grandmother, and Kali Kaka was performing antarjali ['final ablutions']. When she died, it took to almost 11 o'clock at night to finish the funeral rites. Afterwards, I took a bath, and returning to the house of Kalikaka, I went to sleep. Indeed, there was sorrow on the death of my grandmother, but she was the daugther and wife of rich men. The only thing was that her final sufferring was unbearable. Thus there was much benenfit for her in her dying. While I was living in Ula she was very good to me. I read Kali Kaivalyadayini and other books with her. Whenever new books were for sale [at the book shop] I would go there, buy them, and give them to her. She knew how to cook the best [of all others]. You could not find a women who was as frugal as she and would pay such painstaking attention to details. She would make various kinds of dishes and sweets. What she knew no others knew. She would prepare Chosir Payas, Amer Morabba etc. and others would not be able to. I would help her in all kinds of ways.

154. And she showed me affection. When I was a young boy I used to do foolish things. She had a very heavy pillow. She would leave this pillow [alone] at any time. At the house in Ula she often told Didi [an aunt] that inside her pillow were some gold Mohar coins. I was curious to see that pillow so once, when she went to the bathroom, I opened the inside of the pillow and took out a cloth bag, though I did not open it but replaced it in the pillow. She [somehow] could tell [that I had looked] but she was unaffected towards me. When she died I was not present and whatever was there she could not give to me. Kali Kaka said She had given her books to him [for me]. I was not upset by all of this, but went along with the request. The day after her death I went to the house of Kasi Babu. The doorkeeper, Itarup Simha, said, "You lit the funeral fire at your grandmother's head; you may not enter this house for three days." Being very young my feelings were badly injured. As I was hurt, I went and stayed at the house of Kali Kaka. The small cost of grandmpther's sraddha was met by Uncle Bholanath Babu.

155. A few days after the Sraddha I thought, "I will rent a house and I will live there and bring my wife there." My wife was then at Dumdum in the house of Matul Gokulachandra Simha. A few months before, Mama Gokul and Siromani Mitra had taken me to Dumdum. I went there from the garden house of Kasi Babu. At that time my wife was almost twleve years old. Making repeated requests to me she begged me to ask mother to take her to Calcutta. I said, "I will bring you to Calcutta as soon as I get a job."

156. Among the employment I received were two private tutorships, and I made 12 Rupees a month. After a few months I took a position as a 2nd [grade] teacher at the Hindu Charitable Institution School for a wage of 15 Rupees. Then I said to my mother, "Let's go and rent a house." All this occurred in 1857 [during his nineteenth year]. At that time the [Sepoy] Mutiny was at its hight.

157. In the Sunri district [the quarter inhabited by liquor dealers], very near his house, Charanmitra arranged to rent house number eight for 8 Rupees [per month?] from Vinod Sahar on my behalf. I brought my mother and all my things from Kali Kaka's house to the [new] house. Kali Kaka kept in touch from time to time. Buying one cot, two canopy beds, one table, two chairs, and one clothes rack I furnished the house. I also got a western servant and one maid. I got 15 to 20 Rupees plus whatever from the sale of Poriyed which we lived on. From time to time I would stay at the house of Kasi Babu. My friends Biju and Umacharan sometimes would come and visit me. I was writing English poetry then.

158. At that time Sayaram Mama from Ula and his family rented a house in the Sunri district. I would go and visit them. At that time Harighosa came down with cholera and doctor Hanigbenj performed an inoculation thereby curing him. I lived at the house in Sunri district for a few months and I brought my wife there. Again my income was defiecent and I was unable to maintain my family. I thus moved my wife and mother to the house of Kali Kaka. Renting the house in the Sunri neibhorhood resulted in back rent of Rupees 6o to 70 [being unpaid] and mother sold a gold necklace in order to pay it off. At this time I printed the second volume of Poriyed.

159. At the time I lived in the house at Sunri I would frequently go to the house of Mrs. Locke, the poetess. She was an elderly woman. When she read my poetry, she was pleased and showed my a lot of affection. At the home of this lady I met with Jnanendra Mohan Thakur Babu. Mrs. Locke was a spiritualist and she showed me many 'spiritual' manifestations. She would have spirits come and dance on her table. She could see the spirits but I could only hear the sound of their dancing.

Gradually I got into great financial difficulty. I could not secure a job. Employment was lacking, compared to the number in need of work. I began to ingraciate myself to a mucchddina of a particular merchant's house. He, considering the respectability of my family, sent me to purchase sugar etc. at the market in order to teach me the duties of chief accountant. [Once] when I bought a large quantity of sugar I obtained an [extra] sack of sugar. I noticed this and considered it irreligious to cheat the merchants. I therefore informed the merchant and he told me, "It would be good for you to become a teacher. Buisness will not be good for you."

160. I was thinking how to get a job, and at this time, from Chotimanglapur, Dada Mahasaya [my paternal grandfather, Rajavallabha] sent Lalu Chakravartti and Keval Das. Dada Mahasaya wrote to me, saying, "I will not live many more days. I desire to see you directly. If you come quickly then I will see you, otherwise I will not be able to."

In Calcutta there were no apartments. I was not able to live with a defiecency of money. Employment was not easy [to get] and whatever there was there was rooted in irreligion so I could not do it. Considering all this I consulted with my mother and wife and decided to go to Orissa with Keval Rama Das. The year was 1858 when I set out for Orissa. We stored the cot, the table etc. and numerous other articles at the house of Kali Kaka. In the month of Vaisakha we departed.

162. Taking a boat we went to Ulaber. On the way, seeing the huge waves, mother began to cry. I was also afraid. We arrived in Ulaber in the afternoon. We were unable to rent [even] a bullock cart there, and thus we went and sought the help of the police inspector of that place, Annada Prasad Ghosa. As if to introduce his nature this police sub inspector gave a pointless order. In spite of that we were still not able to rent a cart. From Ulaber we set out on foot for Pansakura. Mother was the daugther of a very rich man and so she was not able to to travel easily. My wife was just a girl of 13 years. Our progress was extremely slow.

163. Arriving at the Ghat of Pansakura, we rented two carts and started for Yajpur. At Medinipur we meet Baro Mami. Some time after Subarnarekha we saw the river which divides Bangaldesh and Orissa. On one bank the colour was like a red pot and the language was Bengali, on the other bank the color was like a black pot and the language was Oriya. Gradually we passed Balesvar and Bhadrak and came to Yajpur. Kevalram and Lalchand used to occaisionally fight with each other. Sometimes, after being shaved at the barber's shop, during their massage, they would wrestle and I would watch with great curiosity. Having staying in Yajpur for two or three days we left.

164. We stayed in one guest room in the garden house of a Panda [a tourist guide]. From there news [of our arrival] went to Chotigram. Dada Mahasaya sent two palanquins along with bearers. We stayed two nights in in Yajpur performing pilgramage activities. Thereafter, in the morning, we set out for Chotigram. Dada Mahasay cried tears of love we he saw us. He had many cows, and they all had names, such as Ghumuri, Kahri etc. Bida, a milkman, would come and do the milking and his mother would boil the milk and make yogurt and ghee.

165. Dada Mahasaya would eat nothing at all during the day. Then at night, after two prahars [midnight], he would eat khacoris that he cooked himself. His khacoris contained so many chillis that I was not able to eat them. He would mix together 4 or 5 seers of milk with date sugar. He used to eat that. Dada Mahasaya wore crimsom cloth like a sannyasi. During the day he only did japa. He kept many animals: pigeons, peacocks, swans etc. and he used to employ one or two boys to feed them. In the evenings many elderly Kali worshipers etc. who were ganja smokers came to smoke ganja. Dada Mahasay did not smoke ganja. He only ever smoked tobacco. For his age he had considerable strength. Quickly pulling cobra snakes out of their holes, he would kill them on his wooden shoes. He had a good apetite and plenty of\strength. He was never sick. Because he was a kali siddha he was able to talk about everything. He had made my horoscope. He told me, "You will secure a very good job at age 26 or 27."

166. In Chotigram we had 6 or 7 big residences and many smaller places, and in the middle were the temples of Radha Madhava and Jagannatha. Behind the house was the pond called Oyas. On all sides [of the estate] ther was a fence made of sharp bamboo. There was no difficulty in eating [in Chotigram]. There the local king was Raj Ala. He lived with mush pomp and splender. I had one bearer named Bhavani, but after working [for me] for [only] 4 or 5 months he left [and on that account] I took a small fine out of his wages. Ananda Raya, our minor partner [?], was a swine of a man. He counselled the bearer and filed a complaint in the king's lawcourt. The bearer was not seen for two or three days, after which he returned to me bringing an armed policeman like a Yamaduta. I realised that in the villages the decline of the kings was great.

167. I brought the chief police officer from Phunri, and I paid the bearer's wages in front of him upon which the king's policeman departed. After this incident I thought it good to stay in the main town three krosas [six miles] away from Chotigram, therefore, I went to Kendrapur and spoke with Munseph Sivaprasada Simha. The merciful Isvara Candra Vidyasagara Mahasaya wrote a letter to Sivaprasada Simha about me [recommending me] and sent another letter addressed to Doctor Roer Sahb with me. Sivprasada made some effort and established an English school in the district of Kendra and employed me as a teacher. At this time Judge Jelor and Commisioner Shore came there and I gave them a copy of my Poriyed and talked with them. Judge Saheb encourged me to make progess in the school.

168. At the end of the rainy season Doctor Roer, Inspector of Schools South West Bengal, came there and I showed him the letter Vidyasagar Mahasaya wrote and I spoke with him. I visited his boat frequently, staying late into the night, and we discussed many things. He said, "The teachers' examination will be held in Puri; you go there and take the exam, I will help you." Considering that I would go to Puri in the month of May, I began to make plans.

I had my residence in a shop in the Kendra district. On Saturdays I would walk to Choti and on Monday I would return to work on foot.

169. In the meantime I got the news that Dada Mahasaya was ill. Coming from Radhasyam Naredra of Kedrapara I went to Chotigram and took cinnabar [red dye from mercury oxide] and Patol leaves. I did not observe any particular illness [to be aflicting] Dada Mahasaya. He said, "Do not leave here for one or two days; my life is coming to an end." I remained just as he asked. On the morning of the third day he asked for some food for us. He had a very slight fever. Sitting up in bed in the courtyard he lay down and began to smoke tobacco. Durgaprasada Chakravarti, Kebal Ram Chakravarti, Lalchanda Chakravarti and 10 to 15 others surrounded him. Having eaten, I came [back to him]. Rising, Dada Mahasaya sat leaning against a bolster and began to smoke a lot of tobacco and perform Nama Japa.

170. The people of the Chakravarti family began to search for tulasi or belgach leaves, but he stopped them. Calling to me he said, "After my death, do not remain many days in this place. Whatever work you do at 27 years of age will be your main ocupation. You will become a great Vaishnava. I give you my blessings." Immediatetly after saying this his life left him, bursting out of his brahmatalu [brahma-randra]. One rarely witnesses such an amazing death. After completing his funreal rites according to the law I performed the first sraddha in the first month. We had many Khanejad servants. In that region they are known as sagar-pesha. Whenever one of us would die, they would carry [the body] on their shoulders, perform the cremation, and thus they would take the impurity [upon themselves]. Having done the shaving on the sraddha shaving day, they would put on new cloth and eat. In this fashion the [funeral] rites for my paternal grandfather were concluded.

171. Chakravarti Mahasaya was our family priest and it was he who completed the worship. In Orrisa these things cost very little. Almost a thousand Brahmanas and Kayasthas came to the feast. Hurum, curd, date gour and chillis were served. All this cost very little. At this time Mahedra Mama had a job in Murasidabad. He sent fifty Rupees and I had some savings from my job in Choti. In this way the small expense was covered and everything was done.

172. Also at this time the following matter was settled. At Jagganathapura and other places in Murshidabad there were some properties - my grandfather's wife, Rani Radharani, had the mortgage. I settled with her [?] and received 800 Rupees, which I gave to Kashi Babu as savings.

173. In the month of May, Deravisha Babu, Ram Babu, Kurupa Bhandari and I took a trip to Cuttack [on the way to?] Puri. From the residence of Dinu Babu in Cuttack, I took my relation, Saday, and went to Puri, where we stayed at the house of Kali Chauduri. There I met with Doctor Roer. While in Puri, I talked with many respectable gentlemen and stayed there happily for about a month. Muktesvar Babu and Yadu Babu and many others took care of us. Braja Babu was clerk to Roer Saheb. I got all the news [about the examinations] from him. The examination was held in the circuit house and I passed it. I write the certificate which I received below:

174. Certificate of Qualification for Teachers

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