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the Committee appointed for the Examination of candidates for employment and promotion in the Education Department at Poori in May 1859 and that he acquitted himself in such a manner as to be entitled under the Rules, to this certificate of the High Fourth Grade, rendering him eligible to any Situation of which the Salary does not exceed Rupees forty.
Inspector of Schools, South West Bengal.
The 30th of May 1859
175. Having taken the examination I returned on foot from Puri to Cuttack at the time of the Chandan Festival at Puri. There was happiness [we drived happiness?] from [consuming] lots of Prasadam. On the day of the festival, in the afternoon, we departed, and went 3 kroshas by mid-evening and stayed the night in a salt warehouse at Janakadepur. Very early the next day we set out and arrived in Bhuvaneswar that night. On the way we ate only chatu and torani mahaprasada. The sun was exceedingly hot. Sakshi Kurupa, Baburam and Saday were unable to proceed with ease. I assisted them, and on that day we travelled 17 kroshas [34 miles]. At nine o'clock at night we were in the jungle and were very afraid of tigers, but we finnaly arrived at a temple and stayed at the house of the panda [a tourist guide]. There, in the night, we took prasada and cool water and slept free of all troubles. Hving looked around [the place] we left in the morning and arrived in the city by mid-afternoon. Saday remained there. We four men went to Chotigram as before. My mother and my wife were happy to receive me.
176. In the light of the result of the examination I began to work as before, [but] hopeful of getting some governmental employment. By the first of September I got a position as a sixth grade teacher with a salary of 20 Rupees [per month] in Cuttack. I immediately went to Cuttack and joined the school. The headmaster was Yadu Nath Mukhopadhyay and he was very pleased to accept me. I brought my mother and wife to a residence in the Sahebjada Bazar. The eating was good in Cuttack. With a servant and a maid and a rented house for [just] 2 Rupees [per month], I was able to eat the best quality rice in the morning and all the luchi one could desire in the afternoon.
177. At that time the Munseph of Cuttack was Mahescandra Raya, a very good man from Santipur. He was a Brahmo anong Brahmos [members of the Brahma Samaj]. His brother, Girish Babu, was the jailer and a very staunch Hindu. The chief sub-judicial officer was Tarakanta Vidyasagar. We used to have a lot of fun with him. Having becomea a prominant man in Calcutta he used to feed us [when we visited him]. On the day of Sarasvati Pooja he gave pens aways as gifts. His associating with Yadu Babu was like [mixing] ginger and ripe bannana.
178. At the time of living in Cuttack, I was eating less and myэbody became a little thinner. Mother was stricken with epilepsy. Many were the nights I would stay up with her.
Among the teachers in Cuttack there was one Sunri [a low caste wine-merchant]. There was much joking about him.
179. At the time of living in Cuttack I used to talk with Sriyuta Healy Saheb. He was the Assistant Magistrate and School Secretary. In the Cuttack school district there was an assembly where, since 1859, ten policies had been enacted that where still under debate [by the teachers]. Hearing my speech [on these matters] Healy Saheb developed a special confidence in me. I stayed in his company for two months studying Ellison's 'Europe' and he had said that there was much extraordinary power in me. Gradually he develped a specific affection for me. I read many books on philosophy from the Cuttack school library. Upon receiving the position of Headmaster of the Bhadra School I left the Cuttack school on March 16th 1860.
180. When I arrived in Bhadra I got a house in the bazar. The bazar was on one bank of the river Salindi and the school was on the other bank. Because my place of work was far away and I daily had to travel back and forth I had to pay for a bearer and palanquin at six Rupees per month. In Bhadra I received 45 Rupees per month [540 Rupees per annum].
181. While in Bhadra I had a new house built and we lived there. At that time Sarjan Chandra Nath Visvas was the Sub-assistant [?] for that place, Yadu Babu the Post Master and Bindu Babu the Zamindar. Now and then we all used to sit together in the evening [and talk]. We would have a lot of fun. The food was not bad. But my mother's epilepsy was gradually becoming worse.
182. Deputy Dear was a very good friend of ours. An Orissan brahmana came to Bhadra to recite the Ramayana. When he heard about my mother's illness he made a preparation of sandal and oil with conch powder and gave it to her. Due to him mother became healthy and beautiful. I paid the doctor and made him very happy.
While living in Bhadra I wrote a book entitled 'Maths of Orissa'. In that same year, during the month of August, that is to say, the 8th of Bhadra, 1267 [sakabda?], my first son, Annada was born. Also in that year, a letter dated the 18th of December arrived appointing me to the school in Midnapur. We were very happy and began to make arrangements to arrive in Midnapur by the first ofJanuary.
183. While living in Bhadra I received a letter form Rivett Carnac as follows: "The fifth master can make whatever arrangements are most convenient to him for the transport of his family and goods but asэhis presence is immediatley required at Midnapur he must join [us] without delay."
Sd. Rivett Carnac. Secretary L.C.P.I. 5th Feb. 1861
184. At that time Midnapur was very condusive to one's health. At the request of Mahendra Mama, one employee, a Mahishadal named Haramohan Sen, reserved a rented house for me. Upon arriving there we met with Raj Narayan Babu. In accordance with his advice I rented a house in Karnelaganga and moved there within a short time. At that time the community of Midnapur was turbulent. Some folk were followers of Raj Narayan Vasu Babu, and thus they were Brahmos. Some folk were rigid Hindus and other folk were drunkards; others were without any dharma or karma. In every group there were two to four prominant leaders. Even though I worked closely with Raj Narayan Babu I was in the Hindu group. I spoke with the Matalas but did not associate with them. Gradually some people became my followers. They were generally young and learned or seeking learning.
185. In those days my thoughts on religion were to the effect that dry knowledge was best, and that the religion of the Brahmos was not good. I thought the brotherly philosphy taught by Jesus Christ was excellent. The taste [derived from such worship] was [due to the Christian] devotion [to Jesus]. I read all the books written by Theodore Parker and others, and books on Unitarianism I got from Calcutta. Because of [these books] my mind was attracted toward the devotion of Jesus. From the time of my childhood I had faith in bhakti. During the time I was in Ulagram hearing Hari Kirtan produced bliss [in me].
186. Oneday, one of my grandfather's servants chastised some Jati Vaishnavas [hereditary Vaishnavas] for the offense of fishing. They said that Vaishnavas' killing living entities was wicked. I heard this conversation and concluded that it was not proper for Vaishnavas to kill living beings. The Saktas perform sacrifices and kill animals and then eat the meat. Vaihsnavas are [not really of] the material world. Moreover, I recall a Vaishnava named Jaga[?], who came to our house dancing and dancing and performing Nama Kirtan, and from whose eyes poured torrents of tears, and all these incidents created great faith [in Bhakti in me]. When I was ill the Kartabhaja made me healthy, and I realised the strength of the Vaishnava religion.
187. There was some substance in the Vaishnava dharma: there was bhakti-rasa and therefore I had faith therein. There were base practices in the Sakta dharma and the Brahmos were bereft of religion and rasa. This kind of understading gradually took its place in my heart. When I went to Calcutta I would meet with Baro Dada and Satur, hear a little of the Brahmo dharma, read all their books and Tattva Bodhini Patrika, but there was a natural aversion towards the Brahmo dharma in my mind. I would have much deliberation and conversation with Dal Saheb and with other missionaries, and in comparison to the Brahmo dharma the Christian dharma was far superior.
188. Some books where sent to me by Dal Saheb. We discussed each of these books and I developed an attraction for pure bhakti, but I did not put any of it into practice. While I was at the school in Midnapur I thought that I would obtain and read books on Vaishnava dharma.
At the Midnapur school there was a Jati Vaishnava pandit. I learned from speaking with him that Chaitanya Prabhu preached the Vaisnava dharma in Bengal. The history and thoughts of Chaitanya [he said] are contained in the book known as Chaitanya Charitamrita. I searched, but could not obtain a copy of the Chaitanya Charitamrita. I had faith that reading that book would produce happiness in my mind, but at the time Vaishnava books were not in print.
189. My grandmother became ill. Doctor Navagopal Ghosal Babu cured her with much endeavour.
In Midnapur there was a literary society [sahitya sabha]. Raja Narayan Basu, who was the speaker in the assembly, said, "O Kedar, a wage of thirty Rupees for a 5th grade teachership is unsuitable for you. You make some effort and you will get a better occupation." Gradually I got many followers and students. Seeing this, there was a little envy on the part of the Brahmos. In the Brahmo had a school, and a pandit there endeavoured to make Raj Narayan Babu and me enemies. I lived with caution, taking care to surround myself with friends. I had a friend who was in the same group as me named Thomas who was an Anglo-Indian. He and I wrote for the newspaper, 'Pheonix'. Brajbhaduri and Jadunath Shil were two good friends of mine. there was always agreement in the field of literature between them and me. Braj Babu held many feasts.
190. In the month of Jyaistha my wife became ill and gave up her body. At that time Annada was ten months old and my mother began to raise him. When my wife was ill all my friends helped trmendously. I [personally] had a swelling of my lungs. I endured this grief like a warrior according to the 'Psalm of Life'. I had prayed, revealing these matters in my mind to God. Yet, even then the doctrine of formlessness had a place in my mind. But there was also the conviction that God had a distinct form. Formlessness and essential form - how these two might both be true, that I did not understand.
191. After my period of impurity ended marriage negotiations began anew. A man named Nilambar Nag was a coleague of mine. His house was in Yakshpur or Yakpur, two krosas from Midnapur on the far bank of the Kamsa. He initiated marriage negoiations with your mother. Your maternal grandfather, Pitambar Babu, came to see me along with my elder maternal aunt and brought your mother to see my mother. Mother approved ofthe girl and consented to the marriage. Concerning this marriage matter, Uncle Bholanath Babu in Calcutta wrote to Kasi Babu and Kasi Babu expressed his opinion. Uncle Kasi did not approve.
192. In spite of this there is no stopping the will of God in any circumstance. The marriage went ahead. The marriage was celebrated in the month of Sravan. In those days I was unable to pay the expenses, and because of this the second marriage was completed simply by the performance of some 'namo namos', like the Rishi Shraddha. Raya Mahasaya's family in Jakpur was wealthy and respectable. The grandchildren of their house were worthy of respect. Therefore, in Hindu society, the marriage was not blameworthy. But some English intellectuls said that itэwas not proper to remarry within only two months of the death of the first wife. Rajnarayan Babu said that if a marriage is performed in Jakpur there is [bound to be] a good deal of gossip.
193. During the Durga festival that year I kept my wife in Midnapur and went to Calcutta, and stayed at the house of Kasi Babu. At that time Bidhan street [College St.] was new. Seeing that neighbourhood altogether changed and having known the way it had been, I was pained as I travelled about.
194. Mahendra Nath Mitra, who was a brother to me, said that in Burdwan the chief Amin [tax collector] wanted a chief clerk who knew English. The pay was small but the miran [?] was nearly twohundred Rupees for the taking. "You will have to translate his English judgement into Bengali. If you wish, then you can get this position", he said.
195. Agreeing to this, and taking a letter from Mahendra Bhai, I went to Burdwan with Mahendra Mama. There I took meals etc. in the house of Janaki Mitra, the office superintendant of the chief tax collector, and I had a meeting with the saheb. Wright Saheb decided to give the job to me. I returned to Calcutta and from thence to Midnapur. After being in Midnapur for seven days I received a letter from Wright Saheb. Before resigning my post in the Education Department I was given a letter of recomendation by Doctor Roer, [which read] as follows:
196. "Babu Kedar Nath Dutt, a fifth-grade master of the English School at Midnapur, has been in the Educational Department for nearly two years. He was first employed in the English school at Cuttack and afterwards promoted to the Headmastership of the Anglo Vernacular School at Bhuddrack. He is a good teacher and has given me great satisfaction by the faithful discharge of his duties. Babu Kedar Nath Dutt has studied much for himself and has a taste for literature in general. He has not yet passed an examination for Senior Teachership, yet I have a high opinion of his talents and hope that he will fulfill the expectation I have of his distinguishing himself in the career he has chosen."
Sd. E. Roer The 18th March 1861 Inspector of Schools South West Bengal
197. Having taking leave to depart, I went from Midnapur to Burdwan and took up the new job. My mother and wife stayed in Midnapur. After leaving the job in Midnapur and going to Burdwan, I wrote a letter to Rajnarayan Babu explaining that the whole matter was settled. I never returned to Midnapur. I sent a man to convey my mother and wife to Calcutta. Uncle Bholanath Babu assisted them and they stayed at a house in Patharighat in Calcutta. Then my wife fell ill with cholera so my uncle sent a telegram to me in Burdwan. I came and saw that my uncle was giving extensive medical treatment [to her]. My wife became well and on the advice of Doctor Umacharan of Radhanagar I moved everyone to the house [in Burdwan].
198. I was not happy in my position as a Nazir. The duties involved taking one assistant Nazir and 40 or 50 foot-soldiers. Warants were issued. The foot-soldiers were the worst class of men. All the time there was fighting [among them]. I recieved a quarter of the money that was paid due to the threat from the soldiers as black money. I recieved 200 Rupees per month by cheating [taking black money], even though the salary was much less than that, and there was no pension. As long as I remained a Nazir I was doing work unfit for a human being. Wright Saheb was pleased [with me and] gave the following Certificate to [when I resigned]:
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