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drishtva kastam naranam ativisama-patharohanayoddharanam/
pretadrer divysopanakam ativitatam saukhyam arohanaya/
kritva tapopasantya ritunabarasabhushamkhyasake' tra saudham/
sri-natha-preetaye sri-madana-parabhavan mohanakhyo hy akasit
sri madan mohan datta sam kalikata/
gomasta sri ganga-narayana-karsam udishya/
grama gopalapur paragane baluvishi sarakar katak/
tahaviladar kalicharan chaudhuri sam simalagadi
paragane panduya arambha sakabda 1696 sanga 1696/ san 1182 sal/
moharar sri-rama-narayan raya sam chandahati paragane barddhaman/
hajarinavi sa-sri-narayana ghosa sam rayunathapura udishya
335. We arrived in Calcutta on Friday the 31st of October 1884 by morning. The vacation was over and we went back to work in Sri Rampur.
336. While I was in Narail, in the month of Vaisakha, 1288, my Sajjana Toshani newspaper was first published. When a new [printing] machine came to Narail its owners came to me requesting work, and thus I printed Sajjana Toshani there. After I left that place I was restricted [in what i coulde do], and the newspaper could not be published regularly. At the conclusiion of my stay in Barasat I regularly spoke in English with Sri Upendra Gosvami. In 1883 an English edition cameout but then the patrika stopped. In 1885 I had the Vaishnava Depository [a library?] at Rambagana. I stayed in Sri R ampur.Radhika, Kamal and Bimal studied in Sri Rampur. In 1885 I, Radhika, Kamal, Bimal and Prabhu went to Memari and Kulingram. After that we went visited Saptagram. At that time I made some effort and put out an edition of Sajjana Tosani. Around that time it was offered to the Visva Vaishnava Sabha, but the publication stopped. After 1892 Sajjana Toshani was revived and continued [to be published] regularly.
337. In 1886, while I was staying in Sri Rampur, I wrote and published Sri Chaitanya Sikshamrita. This book was well received in all quarters. In that year the Gita was published with my translation, Rasikaranjana, with the commentary of Sri Visvanatha Chakravarti. It was an extremely intellectual task for me to publish all these books. A book named Bhaktivinoda was published and I composed a Sanskrit commentary on its Siksha-tika [?]. Haradhan Datta of Badanganga in Kayapat came to Sri Rampur and offered me a very old copy of Sri Krishna Vijay, which I published. At that time I established the Chaitanya Press and Sri Yukta Prabhupada [his guru?] ran it.
338. When we had printed two khandas of the book Chaitanya Charitamrita Sriram Narayan Vidyaratna requested that we stop. I got a very intense head ailment from all this intellectual work. There was one other cause: my nose was running constantly. Kaviraj Haricharan had me take Svarnabanga to stop it.эImmediatetly after taking that medicine I got dizziness in the head. Because of that I got leave for one month 15 days in the month of May 1885 through the efforts of Rici Saheb. I tried many kinds treatments but my ailment did not go away. Old Gurugati Basu and Babaji Charan told me to smear ghee on my head.
339. I smeared ghee on my head. At that time I obtained some books by the Gosvamis on Rasa and [Krishna] Tattva. But I was not able to study at all because of the head ailment. I prayed to Sri Jiva Gosvami that the illness would depart. I considered that the suggestion of the Vaishnavas to put ghee on my head was perhaps the instruction of Jiva Gosvami. [I continued to apply] the ghee [to my head] and my ailment went away. Again I began to work and to read the books. On Sunday the 17th of Phalgun 1886 Syama Sarojini was born. In that year, in the month of May, I got leave for one month and 24 days. Annada's mental illness had worsened significantly. Vaidya Dattahari Mahapatra from Orissa arrived and made Sivaghrita. Annada's disease improved somewhat and he felt [significantly] better.
340. I transferred to Krishna Nagar in the district of Nadia according to an order dated the 15th of November 1887. I will tell you the true reason [why]. I recovered from my head ailment and I studied the devotional literature a lot. While in the association of some bhaktas I began to become renounced in mind. I reasoned in my heart thus, "I have passed my days in a futile way and I have done very little. I have not been able to obtain even a slight taste of service to Sri Sach-chid-ananda Svarupa Radha Krishna. So if I am able, I will retire and get my pension and finding some little place in the groves near the bank of the river Yamuna in the Vrindavan-Mathura district, I will perform bhajana in solitude. However, because of the nature of the practices [of devotional service] and my physical condition I may not be able to remain alone, therefore I will live in the company of one other person."
341. I arranged for Sri Ramsevak Bhaktibhringa to be with me. Bringing him to Sri Rampur, I asked his advice and he gave his opinion on the matter. At this time I was writing Sri Amnaya Sutra. Ramsevak Babu went to Calcutta and I immediately went to Tarakesvar to work. While there the Lord spoke to me in the night while I slept, saying, "You will go to Vrindavan, but your house is so close to Navadvipa Dhama. Have you done all there is to do at Navadvipa?" Upon returning from that place I again called Bhaktibringa and I told him all about this [dream]. Bhaktibringa advised me that I should transfer to Navadvipa Dhama and I made this known to Peacock Saheb through Jnana Babu. He said that going to Nadia so soon was not proper: "After retirement [you can] study antiquity." Being dissapointed, I stayed [where I was].
342. I forgot to mention one incident. Observing my writing books on devotional service, and being pleased with me, Sripad Acharya Kula [Vipina Vihari Gosvami and others] gave me theэtitle 'Bhaktivinoda'. I reproduce the letter that he worte to me:
sishyaya kripaya bhakti-vinodopadhih pradattah/
sishyasya srimatah sadhor govindacharanaisinah/
kedaranatha-dattasya jayo bhavatu sarvada/
prabhos-chaitanya-chandrasya matasya chanuvarttinah/
pracharakasya sastranam bhakti-marga-pravarttinam/
sri-radha-krishna-visayam tava bhaktim anuttamam
dristva ko na vimuhyete lokesmin vaisnavapriya/
yam bhaktim labhitvam sasvat vanganti bhagavat-priyah/
tam bhaktim hridaye dristva dhnyo'si priyasevaka/
jivasya jivanopaya eka bhaktir goriyasi/
ato bhaktivinodakhya upadhih pratigrihyatam (1)
sri-sri-caitanyabda 400 magha masa/
sri-vipina vihari gosvamina/
sri-vinoda vihari gosvamina,
sri-vinoda vihari gosvamina,
sri-haradhana gosvamina (2)
345. I replied as follows to the Acharyas merciful letter:
jayatah sri-rama-krishno vaghna-palli-vibhushanau/
ja vivallabho rama-candra-kirtti-svarupakau/
vyaghyopi vaishnavah sakshat yat prabhava bhuva tat/
va pall tmakam vande sripatam gaura-pavanam/
acharyanumatan sarvvan mad-desika-varan prabhun/
tesham prasadaleshena jaropadhojate mama/
bhaktivinoda-prakhyati dasasya vidyatedhuna/
yeshiam kripalavenapi bhushito'ham upadhina/
tesham padasaroje me sa dandatih/
sri-rama-paratah/ kritanjali nivedanam etat tesham
bhaktivinodopadhi kasya sri-kedaranatha dattasya (3)
346. The Acharyas gave me the title Bhaktivinoda, and this was also the desire of Mahaprabhu, yet in spite of this, seeing that my going to Sri Dhama Navadvipa was obstructed, I was very anxious. At that time Sriyuta Radhamadhav Basu was the Deputy Collector in Krishna Nagar.
347. I proposed a mutual transfer to him. He was very earnest and expressed a desire to go to Sri Rampur. Sending his letter [requesting a transfer to Sri Rampur] to the government, I requested a transfer to Krishna Nagar. By then Peacock Saheb had gone and Edgar Saheb was the Secretary. Seeing there was a delay, I sent a telegraph to Edgar Saheb. He was in Chapra with the Lt. Governor and he wrote [to me saying] that permission would come in time. A few days [later] permission to transfer came. The order was dated the 15th of November, 1887.
348. How shall I speak of the misfortunes [that then befell me]? Returning home in joy I became worried because at the same time that horrible fever came [upon me] and it did not cease. Collector Toynbee arrived and expressed a desire to postpone [any] substitution for me. But then I thought, "I'll live or I'll die, but I will go to Krishna Nagar." I went to the [official residence in Krishna Nagar] and the worst part of the fever went away. But the cough, weakness, and minor fever did not relent. At the time [?] I had not taken [or did not take?] a convalescent diet for almost 20 days [?]. Bholanatha Babu, Mahendra Mama and everyone requested that I take a vacation.
349. I realized that if I took leave I would not be able to goto Nadia. Thus I chose to go in my bed-ridden conditon. My wife and Mahendra Mama accompanied me. There was a little difficulty on the way, but in the joy of going to Navadvipa the difficulties were not felt. When I arrived in Krishna Nagar I met Collector Hopkins the next day. He said it was not good that I should come with my illness. They gave me charge over the treasury and the small claims court. When I drank milk and I was able to hold court then I had a little strength again, but when I left the court I would have to lie down [as if] dead. I saw Doctor Russell and he said, "You do not have the strength even to move. If you do not take medicine or a convalence diet you will die." I had fever at night and I worked during the day. In 45 days I had eaten only 1 sera daily of milk, this is what I lived on. I thought from time to time, "Many obstacles are a good sign." Doctor Russell gave me 20 grains of Quinine to daily eat with a roti and other medicine. By following this system my body was a little healthier by Christmas.
350. During the Christmas break I took a train to Navadvipa with my wife. Arriving there and seeing the land in all four directions the hair on my body stood on end. Upon crossing the Ganga, and I went to Rani's house and I made arrangements to cook for Srimad Mahaprabhu. Having taken darsan of the Lord with difficultly I honoured prasada at around 1 o'clock. After 45 days [of dieting], I took grains, enchare dahl [soup made with unripe jackfruit], mocha ghanta [banana-flour sabji] and soup etc., which were like nectar. Since my very birth I had not eaten such nectarean food. Even Biru [Bimal Prasada?] ate everything on his plate, and with great devotion.
351. We had to go to the house at Krishna Nagar before evening and thus, buying some cooking pots and utensils, and quickly crossing [the river], we took the train to Krishna Nagar. The next day I went to Baro Gosvami's house in Santipura, took prasada, and before evening returned home. At that time I was beginning to become strong. Every Saturday, I went to Navadvipa to search out the places of the leela of the Lord, but I did not find many and I was very unhappy. At the present time the people of Navadvipa only pay heed to their stomach etc. They do not make even a little effort in relation to the places of the leela of the Lord. One night, Kamal and a clerk and I went up on the roof in order to look around.
352. It was 10 o'clock, and was very dark and cloudy. Across the Ganga, in a northerly direction, I saw a large building flooded with light. I asked Kamal [if he saw it] and he said he had. I asked the clerk and he said, "I did not see anything." Because of that I was utterly amazed. In the morning I looked carefully at the place [where I saw the building] from the roof Rani's house, and I observed that in that there was one Tal tree in that location. When I asked others about this place they said that this distant place was known as Ballaldighi and that the remains of the fort etc. of Laksman Sen were close by. That Monday I returned to Krishna Nagar and the following Saturday I went back to Ballaldighi. I saw that wonderful phenomenon in that place again at night, and the next day I went to see the area on foot. Upon inquiring of the elderly people of that place, I was informed that this was the birthplace of Sriman Mahaprabhu. I gradually saw everything [in the area] and ascertained where all the small villages mentioned in the Chaitanya Bhagavata and in Narahari Thakura's Bhaktiratnakara and Parikrama Paddhati were.
353. While staying in Krishna Nagar I wrote Sri Navadvipa Dhama Mahatmya and sent it to Calcutta to be printed. I explained all these matters to Dvarik Babu, an engineer from Krishna Nagar, and through the strength of his intellect understood everything. He made a map of the area around Navadvipa for me. That also was printed in a reduced form in Dhama Mahatmya. While I travelled around Navadvipa Dhama and wrote Navadvipa Dhama Mahatmya I saw that there was very little opportunity to do more.
354. Again I fell into difficulty with some illness. During the rainy season I was troubled by tonsilitus. I had sent my family to the house but I brought them back again. I had some medical treatment but nothing happened. A European doctor told me, "You will have to have your tonsils removed."
On the 31st of January 1888 I received promotion to the third grade. Realising that my illness was serious I went to see Doctor Maclaud in Calcutta. He said, "There is no use in operating." He made arrangements to paint [my tonsils] with para-chloride of iron. In the meantime Iэapplied for leave. On the 25th of November 1888 I received approval for a priviledge leave for two months and twelve days. My replacement was delayed a few days and during that time I purchased the property called Sri Surabhikunja. Hari Pramodini was born on the 26th of May 1888 at the house in Calcutta.
355. nI the month of Agrahayan I took my leave. Mahendra Mama, Ramasevak Babu, myself, Gopi, Jhapasi and the father of Kulada went to Surabhikunja. After staying there a few days we returned to Calcutta.
356. I forgot to mention something. The year I was in Krishna Nagar, in the month of Vaisakhi, on the full moon day [or on the full moon day in the?] month of Jyaistha, I took the family in a horse carriage to Ula. I was very happy to see the place of my childhood after so long. After seeing the temple house, the pond called Kalisagar, and my birthplace, I went and stayed at the house of Dasu Mama [at the old house]. I saw pujas performed for the public and enjoyed many entertaining [dramatic] performances. There were lectures at the school. In the evening we ate and so forth at the house of the Varanasi Babus. The next day Kamal and I took the train back to Krishna Nagar. The other children took a boat from Ranaghat to Calcutta.
357. Taking a vacation, I went to Calcutta and saw Commisioner Smith Saheb. I spoke to Edgar Saheb about a transfer. I said it would be good for me to move to a place more conducive to good health and a little drier. He transferred me to Maimansimha in the sub division of Netrakona. At this time Radhika was married. The bride was the daughter of Visvambar Babu and grand-daughter of Babu Gopala Mitra. After the wedding we went to the phulsajja house [house decorated with flowers during a wedding], and later I, Kamal, and the father of Kulada made the trip to Netrakona. Prior to that Mahendra Mama went to Godruma and sent my things and Jhapasi to Netrakona. On the ship I spoke with Radhavallabh Babu and his brother.
358. Before evening we reached Narayan Ganga. Thereafter we took a train, arrived in Maimansimha and proceeded to the house of Atul Babu, the Sub Judge. In the morning I met with R.C. Dutta Saheb. That day I arrived in Netrakona before the evening. The next day I took charge, and I lived in a tent [for some while]. I bought a few straw huts from the previous deputy. I stayed there three months and it was a good place. You could get anything [you wished] to eat. The Kakanrol fruit was plentiful. There was a lot of court business in Netrakona, for the citizens were very wicled. For the purpose of seeing the Garo Hills we stayed in a tent at Durgapur.
359. I went on a trip to the hills on an elephant. The people of the royal house of Susanga [Sasanka?] in that place got all kinds of news [?] from us. Barendra Brahmana was a fanatical sakta.эOn one occasion I invited the people of the Hajang for Hari Noot[?]. Their keertan was good, with pure devotion. I saw that their devotion to Sri Gauranga was strong. For three months I did not go anywhere, then Dutt Saheb [R.C. Dutt] secured a transfer to Tangail for me. He was on vacation at that time; thus I went to see Magraw Seheb and then I left.
360. At the time of boarding a train Atul Babu brought a document and told Kamal, "You have passed the entrance [examination]." At that moment the train departed. We went at once to Taka. There I stayed at the residence of my old friend and cousin, Judge Mahendra Nath Mitra. Having met with the Commissioner, and going around seeing the sights of Taka, we eventually spent two days attending the Hari Sabha of the Basaks. From Narayana Ganja [close to Dakka], we went to Goyaland [?] on a steamer. There was utter disruption in the strong wind on the river Padma. We arrived in Goyaland a little into the night, and went from thence to Calcutta by rail.
361. After staying a few days at the house, I, Radhika and Gopi, took a trip to Tangail. Upon arriving in Tangail I heard that previously there had been a tornado and many people had died, I then started work, but observing that the Bengalis of that place were not so good I brought a house boat to Dakka and began to travel around there. It was easy to travel about in the rainy season. After travelling all around for some days the former Deputy Babu's leave was over and he arrived. At this time Mahendra Mama wrote, "I was transferred back home." Eventually I saw the transfer to Burdwan and on the 5th of September 1889 I was transferred there. Because of a shortage of funds, money arrived through a telegraphed money order. We then went to Calcutta.
362. Immediately on arriving in Calcutta, I was told that I must go to Hooghly, but that did not happen. I went to Burdwan [instead]. Janaki Mitra's sons made efforts to help our people by bring the luggage up to the house near the station [?] of Naleenyaksha Babu, and we stayed there. The sons of Janaki Mitra, namely Mammath Mitra and Giran Mitra, purchased the materials of that Chaitanya Press of mine. Some additional money was due from them from that [sale] but in the end it was not given. Death came [to them?], and it caused me the loss of 200 Rupees.
363. I moved from the house of Nalinyaksha and stayed in the garden house of a kshatriya. Fifteen days later I came to the house [?]. Lee Saheb was the first Magistrate and later McGraw Saheb came. I had a fever in Burdwan for two or three days. While returning from Mankar on one occasion, I contracted a fever. My wife came and Mahendra Mama also. Bholanath Kaviraj Mahasaya made good friends with me and gave me medical treatment. According to his desire Mahendra Mama brought a piece of rhinocerous [?] horn and gave it to him. The fever diminished, but in the night breathing became difficult and I slept in fear - in this way was I ill. At this time I began to take half a grain of opium on the advice of the doctor and Bholanatha Kaviraj. On that account there was some improvement.
364. Deputy Purna Babu of the Kalna district went on leave; I wanted to take his place and thus I went there. Previously, I had given some money to the Navadvipa Mandal of Svaroopa Ganga for the purpose of developing Sri Surabhikunja. Having seen Surabhikunja in its natural state and observing how the work had progressed I came to that decision en route to Kalna [?]. There was the hope of going to see Sri Dhama Navadvipa and many other places from Kalna. On the 10th of March 1890, myself, Bimal, Jhapasi, and Pulin Babu went to Kalna via Santipura. On the 14th [I went] to Samudragad by boat and stayed in a tent. On the 16th, after inspecting the work in Godruma, there was a picnic.
365. On the 26th of March I went to Sripath in Baghnapada and sojourned there in a tent. I inspected the school there and performed court business. I took darsan of Sri Baladeva and took prasada. On the 30th I returned to Kalna. On the 31st of March Sasibhushan Pal from Jannagar sent a silver moodra [amulet] which he obtained in Parula Gram. On one side of the mudra was written: 'sri-sri-chandrakanta-simha-narendrasya' ['This belongs to His Majesty Chandrakanta Simha']. On the other side was the saka date 1242 and I realized that at this time there was a small independent kingdom in Parula.
366. On the 9th of April I visited Nakula Brahmachari in Pyariganja [?]. On the 20th - Ramsevak Babu, in Kalna. On the 23rd of April I went to Kaigram. On the 25th I saw the residence of Vrindavana Dasa Thakura in Denuda. On the 27th the family came to Kalna and on the 9th of May we returned to Calcutta. On the 18th of May I went to Godruma. We went on foot to Indrarkapur with Kamal, thereafter, crossing the Ganga and coming to Kakshasali and Chupi, we arrived at the police station in Purvasthali and dined. The next day I went on foot to Kuliya in Navadvipa and I took darsan of the bhajana kutir of Jagannatha Dasa Babaji.
367. During the time I was staying in Krishna Nagar, intending to perform some service for Babaji Mahasaya [Jagannatha Dasa] at his bhajana kutir, I arranged for a solid vernanda [to be constructed for him] at a cost of almost 150 Rupees. On the 9th of June I gave charge [of my duties to a deputy?], and on the 10th I went to Godrum, via Santipur and Krishna Nagar. There I planted a madhavi tree, and on the 14th I ate at the house of Srinatha Chakravarti Babu and proceeded to Calcutta. On the 27th of Asad 1297 sal, Sailaja Prasada was born in Calcutta. On the 17th of June I went to Burdwan again. On the 18th of October I went to Amlayoda in the afternoon. I lectured at Gopalpur and Amlayoda. On the 20th of October I returned to Burdwan. On this day I was transfered to Raniganga.
368. I stayed in Raniganga only a few days. During this time ****. On November the 25th, 1890, I was transfered to Dinajpur.
369. I went to Dinajpur, taking Ram Sevak with me. When I was first at that place, I stayed in the thatched house. In the night my breathing [almost] stopped: that ailment [of mine] increased. I left that house and rented Basant Babu's house. Radhika, Kamal, and Bimal came there and stayed a while. At that time I was heavily involved in the census-taking. After copying out a Gita with my Bengali translation, Vidvad-ranjan, with Baladeva's commentary, Ram Sevak Babu went to Calcutta. The whole family came to the house [in Dinajpur]. Not being satisfied there we went and rented a very good house. It was there that Krishna Vinodini and Hari Pramodini got intermittent fever from eating too much jackfruit and sufferred for almost 40 days. We tried many kinds of medical treatment but nothing I did worked and time went by. Sri Yuta Mahendra Mama came there to help. A few months previous to this I had made an application to go on farlow [some kind of extended leave?]. On the 4th of August 1891 I received approval for a two year farlow.
370. Having reserved a coach I took the family and servants and all our luggage to Calcutta. Both of my daughters became well in Calcutta with the change of climate and the administering of the customary medicine.
371. During this time, in the month of Asin, myself, Ramsevak Babu, Sitanath, and Sital Bhritya took a ship, and went to Ramjivanpur for Nama Prachara [promulgation of the Holy name]. Previous to this we had held Nama Hatta [Marketplace of the Holy Name]. According to the desire of Yadunath Bhaktibhushan in Ramjivanpur, we went there first. Even though there were many bhaktas staying in Ghatal we did not go there first but went instead to Ramjivanpur. We performed Nama Prachara in many places in Ramjivanpur and we were very happy. From there we proceeded to Kayapath Badanganja and we gave a lecture. All of the bhaktas, brahmanas and pandits there were pleased. Having stayed 13 days in that area and concluding with a lecture in Ghatal we returned. We performed Nama Sankeertan everywhere.
372. After returning to the house [in Calcutta] I went to Surabhikunja. We also performed a lot of sankeertan there. In Krishna Nagar there were many societies and I began to lecture [to them]. Monroe Saheb, Gupta Saheb, Reverends Walace and Butler all heard me lecture. After the rains Mahendra Mama became seriously ill in Dinajpur.
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