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Story 34: "Who's in the Deity Room?
--"I Didn't Take Banana!"

     A wealthy landlord established a temple and arranged for elaborate worship and costly offerings. He engaged a priest whose character was not very good. The priest, now responsible for opulence far beyond his wildest dreams, thought, "So many valuable ornaments! So much nice foodstuff! And all I get is a measly monthly salary. I'd like to enjoy some of these facilities myself! But how? The temple is well-guarded. That landlord is very careful to collect all the mahaprasadam for distribution to his family and friends."

     One day the landlord brought several bunches of first-class amrtasagar and agnisvar bananas to the priest. "Please offer these to the Lord at the noon worship," he instructed, "and send the whole lot over to my quarters. Some friends are visiting today and the banana-prasada will be reserved for them."

     At noontime the landlord entered the temple, thinking that the Lord would be enjoying the bananas. He found the altar doors locked. This was unusual. Normally the curtains would be drawn for the offering, and then opened for the arati. Only when the Deity took rest was the door closed and locked. A little alarmed, the landlord called out, "Who's in the Deity room?" He heard the muffled voice of the pujari reply, "I didn't take banana!"

     Indeed the priest was eating bananas on the altar. To insure that no-one would disturb him he had locked the altar doors, not expecting a visit from the landlord. He considered that the landlord surely hadn't counted the bananas and would not miss a few from each bunch. By his reply, he gave himself away to the landlord, who now knew exactly what he was up to.

     This story illustrates the psychology of a person guilty of wrongful deeds--he is quick to deny having done wrong even before an accusation is leveled against him. Always expecting to be accused, he mistakes a harmless comment or inquiry for an accusation, and thus lauches into an unnecessary defense that in itself makes clear what misdeeds he's perpetrated.

Story 35: How Bhagavan Became a Ghost

     A certain learned pandit named Bhagavan was much favored by his king. This special royal patronage also earned him the envy of the king's regular ministers. These ministers hatched a curious plot to drive Bhagavan out of the land.

     They informed the palace guards that the king no longer wished Bhagavan to set foot in his palace. And when the king grew anxious that Bhagavan had not come to see him that day, the ministers told him, "Oh, your Majesty, bad news--Panditji Bhagavan has died." They produced a falsified medical statement from the royal physician to this effect. The king was struck with a sense of great loss.

     After a few days, the king went on a stroll in the palace garden. Bhagavan Pandit, who'd suspected intrigue and had been waiting for a chance to see the king, entered the garden to join the royal entourage. But the royal ministers deliberately formed such a tight knot around His Highness that it was impossible for him to come before him and be seen. So Bhagavan then climbed up a tree and yelled, "Oh king! Here I am, your loyal Bhagavan Pandit!"

     But the ministers acted as if aghast, and said to the king in alarmed tones, "Your Majesty, look! There in the tree is the ghost of Bhagavan Pandit. Things have become very inauspicious here. Let us not remain, but return to the palace at once!" Despite the pleas of the pandit, the king at once withdrew. The pandit dropped to the ground and sadly concluded that he indeed must have lost the favor of the king. He decided to leave the kingdom for good.

     By a similar a intrigue have demons in human society stifled devotion to God; even a public expression of belief in God on the part of a leader of state is now looked upon as inauspicious, like the king's "vision" of the "ghost" of his old friend.

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